Hilzer Family

I left my heart in San Francisco

2011-08-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

I just got back from San Francisco yesterday evening. I spent the weekend with my mom, sister in law and mother in law. It was a whirlwind trip but we had a ton of fun! We arrived in Oakland Friday morning and met my mom at the airport, she flew in from Washington. We took the bart over to the city and walked to our hotel. We met up with one of Brooke's friends from high school and we went out to lunch and did a little shopping. It was so nice to have a local's opinion of what to do and where to eat. Thanks Alexis! Saturday we got up and headed to the farmers market at the ferry building. Oh My Gosh! it was sooo awesome, the best farmers market I have ever been too. A lot like pike's place in Seattle or Fanuel Hall in Boston, but doesn't compare to any around here. We ate lunch at the Fog City Diner, and then went down to fishermans warf to rent bicycles for the rest of the day. We biked over the Golden Gate and into Sausalito. We found a cool wine bar called Wellingtons, we enjoyed good wine and played cards. It was nice to just hang out and relax, there were comfy chairs and couches to lounge. We took the ferry back to the city, returned our bikes, took a bus near to our hotel, and then found dinner at 10:00 at night. VERY long day! It would have been nice to sit in the jacuzzi but it closed at 11pm. The next morning we got packed up, checked out and walked to Union square. We hit up a couple shops and around noon headed back to Oakland on the bart. It was well worth it to fly into Oakland rather than SF. It was cheaper and a direct flight. It wasn't too bad figuring out how to get to the city. But next time, we will definately have to add a couple days to our trip. Friday to Sunday is WAY too short a trip to fit everything in. Until next time San Francisco, I will miss you!

O Happy Day

2011-08-18T11:37:00.001-07:00

I think that I get too wrapped up in what other people are doing, or what they might think of me and I tend to lose sight of who I am. I am so busy doing kid stuff and taking care of the house and making sure there are clean clothes and food to eat, that I rarely have a moment of time for myself. That is why I stay up late, too late. Anyway, I have realized that it is so important to take care of myself first, or I won't have the energy to take care of the rest. I have to remember who I am in Christ, that I am His girl and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I have to take the time to fill my spirit, so I am able to give to the kids and my husband AND accomplish all the other tasks I have on my :to do" list. Through out my day I try to take a moment and thank God for what He has given me. I know that He will only put on my plate what He knows I can handle, all I have to do is put my Faith in the Lord and rely on Him to get me through.

Perspective

2011-08-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday. Lately I have been feeling like I have this heavy burden to carry around. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I feel physically and emotionally tired. I feel like I don't do enough fun things for my kids or am very involved in making thier lives fun. I feel like I am telling them what not to do more than having a good time with them. Maybe my burden is that I don't feel like I am being a good mother. I know that I can't be perfect and do everything right, I just feel like I'm not doing enough. I know that it's probably all in my head and my kids are just fine, but still it bothers me and I worry about it. Our pastor at church has been talking about stress in our lives and today the message was about living a simple life. We have to be childlike to get to the kingdom of heaven. I thought to myself, I wish I was still a child sometimes, and to rely on my parents for all my needs. Well, duh, that is exactly how Christ wants me to think about Him. He wants me to rely on Him for all my needs. He wants to take care of me and provide for me. He loves me unconditionally and all I have to do is go to Him. I need to give all my worries to God and He will take care of my every need. My children are happy, they are healthy and are fed and clothed and hear that I love them all the time. I guess I just needed to look to Christ to center my perspective.
The one thing that is a constant struggle is comparing myself, my life, my situation to others, and that is totally where I start thinking that my life is just not as good. I need to remember that God made me not like other people, myself and my circumstances are unique and I need to treat myself that way. I am special in the Lords sight, and He loves me no matter what.

I can do ALL things!

2011-07-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

Last night was my last class for the summer. I do have to send in one of my finals by next week, but I can do that through email. So other than that I am all done until Sept. 7. I am looking forward to having the month of August off! I don't realize how much going to school takes away from my time with my husband and the kids until I stop. I am exhausted all the time and I find myself yelling way too often. At times I ask myself is it all worth it? Sometimes I want to just quit and be a substitute teacher for the rest of my life. That would be taking the easy way out. I know that God has planned for me to be in graduate school and He wouldn't put me in something He knew I couldn't handle. It is during those stressful times where I think I can't do it anymore that He wants me to lean on Him, because I can't do it alone. He is my strength and my peace. I thank God that I have been given the opportunity to go back to school and the chance to provide something more for my family and myself. I want to be an inspiration to my children and an influence to those around me. I want people to see that anything is possible with the power of the Holy Spirit. Through this process I know there are many more challenges up ahead, I know that I need to grow and become a leader and that scares me. I am not a born leader, I would much rather follow and be told what to do and how to do it. I can see the person God has chosen me to be, and it is only through His grace and His power that I will rise to challenge and conquer the fear within me. I live for a Mighty God, He is my rock and my shelter. I thank you Lord for loving me and taking care of me and always being by my side and for giving me the strenght to do the things I"m scared of and knowing that You got my back. I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.

At the moment

2011-07-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

We got home from our camping trip last weekend and I am still trying to get things organized and back to "normal". It doesn't help that I am in my last week of class and have work to turn in on Monday...and our floor is tore up because my dad came down to lay laminate and the job is still in progress. So I feel all chaotic. And kids have been having trouble getting along. I feel like too much is going on at once and I'm on my one last nerve. I need a vacation from my vacation. And I probably should not be posting right now because I have other things that need to get done, but I guess I can look at it as my therapeutic outlet. I haven't been sewing lately, which is what I usually do for my sanity, so this is the next best thing. I am looking forward to my month long break before I have to start school again. It is definately needed. It is so hard going to school over the summer, I am just not motivated..not to mention I am constanly busy with three kids being home, every day. We have done some fun things this summer, but I am ready for them to go back to school. I love my kids dearly, but mama needs some quiet time. And I don't get it with three kids constanly arguing and yelling and running and being mean to eachother. Why can't we all just get along! I think it's nap time...

Those Crazy Moments

2011-07-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

It does not pay off to procrastinate. Now I'm not exactly sure if that is what I've done, but I feel super overwhelmed by everything in life right now. Is it still procrastination when I have three kids that need something every minute? We are leaving tomorrow morning for a camping trip in Colorado. So this week has been crazy busy trying to get things organized and packed and washed, etc. Not to mention my dad is here to lay down new flooring, so on top of everything else I have to empty shelves and find places to stack endless books and misc. items, because I like to collect little odds and ends, which now I am second guessing. On top of EVERYTHING I am trying to accomplish, I still have school stuff that I have to do...which is where the procrastination part comes in. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, or really I'm having a hard time managing my time well enough to fit in everything I have to do. Camping is coming at a very difficult time. So needless to say, I am not looking forward to our camping trip at this precise moment in time, but I'm sure that once we are there and settled, and I have finished a couple of assignments, I will enjoy it. Then it will be time to pack up everything and load it all up and drive home. I'm not looking forward to that part either. I'm not trying to sound negative, it's just how I feel right now I guess. I have a lot on my plate. I guess that's the life of a mother of three little ones who decided to go to graduate school. Sometimes (like now) I wonder what I was thinking. All I know is that I am doing what God has planned. I admit somedays (like the past week) I don't do it well, but I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. So in those crazy moments that seem to be constant, I need to take a "time out" and talk with God to regain my purpose and perspective. It is when I am focused on the Lord, then I will be able to accomplish the tasks he has put before me successfully, and feel at peace.

Happy Birthday!

2011-06-30T07:15:00.001-07:00

Well, my oldest boy turned seven yesterday. Wow! How the time just flies. I am very proud of the little boy he is and I'm confident that he will grow into a mighty young man. It seems crazy that seven years ago he first entered the world. When I get caught up in the day to day stuff , my life seems like how it has always been. It isn't until I have a quiet minute to sit down that I reflect on all the incredible experiences that I have gone through, giving birth to my first child being one of the big ones. Three kids later, I am definately a changed person from the new mother I once was. As they get older, children become more independent. It's not that my responsiblity as a mom changes, it's just that at times I feel that I'm not "as needed" as I once was. I think it is "that feeling" of having to take care of someone who is completely dependent on me, that makes me want another baby. Then I stop daydreaming and come back to the "real world" where kids are fighting and toys are all over the floor....am I crazy for wanting another one? who knows. I put that decision in the Lords hands. Yes, I am completely blessed with my three children and I know they are special gifts, and I am incredibly lucky to be their mother. As much as they make me crazy sometimes, they have made me into the person I am now and I thank God for that.

Just another monday morning

2011-06-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well today has been a learning experience. It is much easier to just tell the kids what we are going to do rather than ask them what they think, because now I get three different opinions/arguments in return. Not all of them will be happy with my choices, but you know what...I am the mama, they will just have to get over it. And they eventually do end up having a little bit of fun.

So today we went to the goodwill to drop off stuff, we proceeded inside to have a look around and the kids came out with some goodies. We then went to sams club to get dogfood, there was some complaining, but we got through that too. We headed to the library but it wasn't open yet, so we went over to the animal shelter and played with the kitty cats. Avery did not want to leave. And we found an adorable beagle that we just had to just play with. Then we went back to the library, the kids got books, Luke and Avery signed up for the summer reading program. I had been promising (bribing) them donuts throughout our errand running, so now finally it is 1:30 and they are having donuts for lunch. Whatever works.

So that was our morning.

Now I am trying to plan fun things for them to do throughout the week, so we are not always sitting at home and stuck inside because it's so darn hot out. We did get out our little plastic pool, and that was fun for a day. So our weekday plans will consist of hitting up the movie theater at the mall in Temecula, they have $1 kids movies (tues, wed, thurs 9:30 am). I'd like to get to the library one day, and I have been wanting to check out Dejong Dairy in Wildomar. We will make sure to throw in a pool day or head down to the beach one day.

It all sounds good, let's see how well my plan gets executed.

*complaining kids aside, I know that I am incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to stay home with them...and I woulndn't change it for the world.

Happiness

2011-06-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

Lately I have really been trying to figure out what it is that makes me truly happy. Well, maybe really it's been what it is that God really wants me to be doing. Because if i am following God's plan for my life, then I should be happy right? I tend to take too many things on, put too much on my plate, and then freak out because I am overwhelmed. I want a simple life, when I daydream I think of living out in the country and being able to look for miles and not see a single home or freeway or shopping mall. Just seeing the land. That is relaxing to me, closing my eyes and picturing God's creation. You know, I think that it is by divine intervention that those are the thoughts I have. My creator knew me before I was born. He has the ultimate plan for my life and right now, to have the simple life I desire, all I have to do is let God have control. All I have to do is talk with Him and listen to what he has planned for me. All I have to do is give Him my worry. A simple life is living the way God wants me to live and trusting Him that He will take care of all my needs.

Letting go and letting God

2011-02-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to title this post...my brian is tired and I am emotionally exhausted. I do feel much better than I did this morning thanks to my small group at women's bible study. I have just been feeling lately that I'm not doing what God has planned for me, but today He showed me that I am.

I observed in a special ed class yesterday as a requirement for one of my classes. All I can say is that God made very special people to do that job. I was only there for 2 hours and I was done. I felt like crying. I thought to myself "what am I doing getting myself into this field?" Am I crazy? I have felt pretty crazy lately. But now I feel confident that yes...this is what I am meant to do.

I have realized that when things get tough or difficult, that's the enemy trying to put doubt in my mind. God is trying to grow me and make me stronger. All I can do is put all my faith and trust in Him, and know that I am following the path He has already laid out for me. I find comfort in knowing that God already has my future planned. It is a daily struggle letting go of all my worry and stress, and giving it to God to take care of. That's what He wants me to do....to really let go. It's scary.

I know I am never alone, God is always watching over me. As much as I love my children, He loves me a million times more.

What an Awesome God He is!

Girl Time

2010-09-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

This morning I had breakfast with three of my girls from high school and it was so nice to spend girl time together just talking and catching up with out kids running around distracting us. We don't get together as often as I'd like so hopefully we can make that more of a priority. They remind me who I am and it's so comfortable to just "be" with them.

Ice Cream Cones

2010-09-23T15:12:00.000-07:00

Now my life is far from perfect, I hardly have 'perfect' days, but yesterday was one of those days that just made all the others worth it. It started out pretty normal. I have been trying to get up a little earlier to have my alone time with God, and it has been difficult (i might have to go to bed a little earlier still). My alarm is set for 6:45 but I seem to not hear it until around 7:20 ish...so I read my little daily devotional, a chapter or two in my Bible (I am trying to read it all the way through) and pray. It's close to 8:00 and I find myself still rushing to get kids dressed and fed and myself dressed as well. Needless to say there has been some spiritual warfare going on here and it has taken its toll, yesterday morning included (but not as bad as the day before). Okay so I have the three kids in the car and we aren't as late as we normally are, so that's a plus, I drop off my oldest and his buddy, and I keep the two younger ones. We go to get an oil change (oh so fun) and run one other place, then I take them to the park near our house. They need to run around. The park is something that I don't do nearly enough, I figure we have a big enough yard for them to play in, but the park is special. Okay, so we come home, have a little lunch, small one takes a nap (after crying for who knows how long) and the girl watches a Disney movie (my saving grace). Fast forward to dinner time, Chad goes off to bowling, I make dinner for the four of us, we all sit at the table, which is not a common practice, then it's out to play. The dishes wait. The kids run around for a bit, I water and pull up some dead plants to return...and now the point of my story. Ice cream cones on the porch. Three children, two dogs and one mommy enjoying the cool of the evening and eating ice cream on our porch. It was just a nice ending to my somewhat hectic day. Just that moment put peace in my heart. Then it turned chaotic again with bathtime (they were filthy!) and bedtime. Eventually they all fell asleep and again I stayed up way too late and didn't want to get up again this morning. Maybe tomorrow will be a different story.

*I take photos specifically to blog about (this post included) but you know the time just gets away from me and they are still on my camera...maybe someday)

Being a Mommy is Tiring

2010-09-20T13:34:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning exhausted, my body just ached. And I didn't do anything crazy. So I reflected...I think why my days get so overwhelming is that I'm trying to do too much right from the start, and they can be overwhelming from the moment I open my eyes and am bombarded by three very awake children. Now if I would just go to bed a little earlier, and not get sucked into watching tv, then I could quite possibly wake up a little earlier and have some alone time to do what I need to do, before the hooligans get up. It's like I have zero time for myself during the day, except naptimes which are getting shorter and shorter, to do anyting productive. Then I feel guilty for not making time to read my Bible and have quiet time with God, because if I wait and not do it in the morning (because I am sleeping) then it doesn't get done...I run out of hours in the day. And it's totally my fault, I just need to switch things up a bit and prioritze, especially being back in school again. My life is just going to get more chaotic if I don't nip this in the bud.

So this is my plan:
1. Go to bed one hour earlier
2. Wake up one hour earlier

...we shall see how this goes

on another note, how come crying children can be so frustrating, especially when I am trying to do something? I just want to put him in the hallway and close my door...is that wrong? At times I am guilty of just that...at this moment however I think that I may choose differenlty, he is looking at me with a sad little face and saying "mommy" so needily....although normally I can't stand whining (it totally just makes me crazy) I will go to him and give him a little love. Oh look, he has gotten over it and is off the bed and wandering into his sissys room to cause havoc. I love you boy! Thank goodness for Disney movies (for the girl)...I can get many a thing accomplished when I put one in and she is entertained for a while...and now Cindrella is over and they both are calling my name informing me that the movie is over, two against one, they win.

too much stuff!

2010-09-16T20:41:00.001-07:00

I have a total issue with shopping. Spending money is my vice. It's definately something that I need the Lord's help with. Now it's not like I go to expensive department stores or fancy boutiques or anything. I'm not going out and buying a $500 pair of shoes, I just go to normal places to get regular stuff; target, wal mart, the grocery store, goodwill. But it's like I always find something that I can't live without, I have to have it, and I hate that feeling. It's like the devil is whispering in my ear 'oh you can't live without that, buy it now or someone else will, it's so cute, you have to have it'. And then I get home and feel guilty, so what do I do? I go and return it (which totally drives my husband insane). He tells me it's a sickness and I need help:) Lovingly of course. I go leave the house with lmy shopping lists; specific things in mind and I usually come out way over doing it. Why can't I just stick to the lis? What can Ireally not live without? How much of what I buy is actually necessity? No wonder my kids are always asking for stuff; we live in a society that is always telling us we need to have this or that, we need the new better bigger whatever. My kids watch tv in the morning and I am getting so sick of hearing all the commercials advertising all this junk...and then my kids say 'oh I want this, I want that'. We learn at such a young age to "want stuff". My daughter is 3. Do we need it? NO!. "Oh so and so has this, I need to get this too". I'm trying to teach them to be grateful for what they have, but I guess it's learn by example because most of the time I totally miss the grateful bus. We go through their toys when we have garage sales or to take stuff to the thrift store and sometimes it's hard for me to get rid of some of their stuff. I want my kids to be happy but really happiness is not measured by how much stuff we collect. And really the only thing that we truly need is God, everthing else is worldly stuff. He will provide for our needs, He loves us unconditionally...we don't need to have the newest bigger faster anything. He just wants us to have a relationship with him, serve him, love him and love others. I am naturally self centered, there's no two ways about it, it is so hard sometimes (most times) to put my needs/wants aside and put myself out there to help someone else unselfishly. Our God is awesome, and when I push away all the self-centeredness and bless someone else with a joyful heart, He will then bless me. That is what I want to teach my kids, and it's totally a struggle because I'm still learning.

My Girls

2010-09-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

I'm so grateful for good friends. Close friendships are hard for me to form. It wasn't until I started attending church again that I have made some good friends, I'm the type of person who has a few REALLY close friends, not a million of buddies. I have known my bff's since elementary and middle school. And even though we don't talk or see eachother all the time when we do get together it's like no time has passed. I know that we are all busy with our own stuff and it's hard to coordinate schedules but a day doesn't go by that my girls aren't in my thoughts. They all have been a part of my life for so long that my life seriously would not be the same without them. They know who I really am and I can be myself around them, it's just comfortable. Like old sweats:) Don't you like being compared to ratty old clothing? I love all my girls so much, another chapter of our lives is beginning and I look forward to all the fun we will have raising our families together. You know who you are...I love you!

Back to School

2010-09-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

Oh I woke up nervous. I had that weird feeling in my tummy and then I started to freak out just a bit. What the heck am I thinking, I get stressed and overwhelmed with my life the way it is and now I'm thinking that I can add going back to school in the mix. Holy cow! If it were doing this on my own strength than I would surely fail, I would go to the first class and decide this is not right for my life right now, or I wouldn't even go at all. But it's not by my strength that I am pursuing this, it is not just my plan or my idea. I prayed about this decision constantly, checking in with God making sure that this is what I am meant to be doing at this time in my life, with three small children. I got into the masters program at Cal Baptist at the very last minute, and there was a small chance that I wouldn't even get to start this semester because of all the paperwork that needed to be turned in. At every hiccup I thought to myself, oh well, did I really want to do this now...the Lord has different plans for me, everything went through on time, I am currently waiting to find out about my financial aid, but other than that I am accepted and enrolled and I start class tonight. Just thinking about it makes me all light headed with butterflies in my stomach. What am I doing?! As women we are identified by our many different hats; wife, mother, daughter, sister,friend,teacher,student, etc. It is exhausting if I try to identify myself by each of these separately, not to mention impossible. I'm reading this great book written by Christine Caine, she wrote "...if I allow all the different roles to define me instead of who I truly am in Christ defining them, I'm going to get all messed up." I'm going to fail if I try to do this all on my own, who I really am can only be found in Christ. There are all these definitions of me, but the only one that truly matters is the way I am defined by Jesus Christ. So in order to get through this crazy, insane, impossible time in my life I have to stop, slow down, and get back to who I am in Jesus' eyes...a uniquely, wonderfully made girl of God. I was made for a specific purspose, God chose me before I was born, he knew the accomplishments I would make, and the struggles I would go through, and as long as I stay close to Him and put all my trust and faith in Him, I can do anything! How awesome is that. I still feel weak and shakey, but I know that this is what I am called to do and in all things I will glorify God...even though I'm scared. Not knowing what is going to happen is terrifying. I am totally out of my comfot zone right now and I really don't like it. But I have an amazing God who is holding out his arms just in case I start to fall, he will catch me and keep me and love me and give me strength to go on. Maybe it's not all nerves.and fear..there might be a little excitement in there too. Thank you Lord for allowing me to start this next chapter in my life.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you, he will neither fail you or abandon you." Deuteronomy 31:8

"The eternal God is your refuge and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; He cries out, 'Destroy Them!' Deuteronomy 33:27

These verses totally shot out to me this morning when I was trying to figure out with the Lord what I was thinking. How cool is it that we have the Lord's Word right at our fingertips, to turn to for comfort and direction. All I have to do is belive and follow the direction, which is hard to do most times. Thank goodness we have a forgiving God who is always for us.

Short and sweet

2010-09-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

I am ready to turn in for the night but I needed to write a little something. Guess what?! My house is still dirty, the dishes are done though. It's so hard to "do it all"...I am starting school tomorrow and I am scared, and anxious and nervous...and about a million other emotions. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...Luv ya Good night

WOW

2010-09-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's late and I am exhausted but I needed to write just a little note about the incredible time I had at Women Rock conference in San Bernadino. I went with amazing women, the speakers were awesome, and the church was BEAUTIFUL...and totally huge. It was so amazing...if you haven't heard of Christine Caine, check her out!!!! I can't think of words to describe her...she is real, passionate, hardcore for Jesus...I totally love her, I bought her book and can't wait to start reading it. The other speakers were phenomenal as well, Sam Chand and Deborah Pegues, both worthy of checking out. This is the first women's conference I've been to and I am definately psyched to go again, I can't wait for next year...I am totally there!

Friday...Yeah!

2010-09-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those mornings when things just start off on the wrong note? It's like I was awakened by whining, and crying, and little brother biting big sister...And now I have to get up, get three kids breakfast and make sure one of them gets dressed, brushes his teeth and is ready for school (the other two get to stay home today). And it's my week for driving carpool in the mornings so now it's 8:30 and I'm trying to round up the three wild ones and get them out the door...along with two dogs. I'm at home now after going through stuff for a garage sale...rearranging things from garage to my sewing room...while the younger two are supposed to be watching tv (because it is on) but instead it seems to be more fun to get into my fabric and mess around with my sewing machine. Who's bright idea was it to leave them in there unsupervised anyway? Well they have had lunch, and I've threatened once or twice to put the youngest down for a nap...but then I check emails and then get sucked into the blogging world and looking at other peoples awesome blogs. So what do I do now....start blogging and one little boy is still not down for a nap...And the little girl keeps informing me that there is a bug in her room. So I must come to the rescue....Ah I killed the little bugger. The two of them are again playing nicely in her room for the moment. Now while I'm thinking that I should rock my little one so he can go to sleep for a couple hours, I am also making a list of the million other things that I should be doing...dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping and vaccuming (I can never remember how to spell that) and let's not forget dusting. But then I start thinking, you know I am just going to make more dishes, there will be more laundry to do tomorrow and there is endless dirt getting tracked into the house with three little whippersnappers and two crazy mutts. So now I have decided to live with a dirty house and to just put the boy to bed...I will get to everything else tomorrow...maybe:) oh and I thought I should mention that my two little love bugs are still in there pajamas and I have yet to brush my teeth (if you think that's gross oh well). It's been one of those days, and really I wouldn't change it for the world. I know I am blessed to be a mother, even though I sometimes feel like pulling out my hair. The sweet, quiet, snuggly, I love you, moments make it all worth it. I thank God for my family everyday (in my heart if I'm too overwhelmed to consiously remember) He knows. He always knows. He gives me the strength to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. Now really my son needs to take a nap.

Yeah for Oranges

2010-09-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

My little helper

I am so excited that our little tree is starting to grow little oranges. I was a little worried about it for a while thinking that it wasn't doing so hot, but it seems to be thriving. We will see once those little suckers get bigger. I can't wait! It's so neat being able to grow food that we enjoy. We have already had yummy apples and apricots, hopefully these oranges will be just as good. Chad built me a couple raised garden beds for us to start growing some veggies and herbs, that will be a fun little experiment. It's so nice being outside with the kids (when it's not 100 degrees out), letting them run around and play...and even helping a little in the garden. They all love to water...mostly they just like playing with the hose I'm sure, but every little bit helps.

Super Yummy Smoothies

2010-08-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

When the kids want a snack or I am craving something sweet I take out the blender and whip up these yummy smoothies. They're fast and easy and taste delicious. These are my favorites, but you can use any kind of fruit (fresh or frozen). I use frozen mostly because I always have it in the freezer and I don't need to add any ice. It's fun to create new concoctions, and the kids can even help add the fruits they love. Enjoy!

Lukes Favorite Smoothie
8 oz apple juice
1 frozen banana
about 1/2 c strawberries

Very Vanilla Blueberry Smoothie
8 oz Very Vanilla Soy milk
1 frozen banana
about 1/2 c frozen blueberries
1 scoop vanilla soy protein powder
2 tbsp ground flax

Chocolate Banana Smoothie
8 oz light chocolate soy milk
1 frozen banana
1 scoop of peanut butter
1 scoop chocolate soy protein powder

Vanilla banana smoothie with....spinach
8 oz Very vanilla soy milk (or plain soy milk)
about 1/2 c fresh baby spinach leaves
squirt in some agave nectar or honey (may not need as much if using very vanilla soy)
1 frozen banana
plain or vanilla (soy) yogurt to your liking

My bff made this for me one day at her house and it was SO good. My kids love it! Even though the spinach makes the smoothie green (which is kinda fun) you can't even taste it. What a great way of sneaking in thier veggies. I even add a couple tbsp of ground flax...

I LOVE FLAX...
I bought a huge bag at Sams Club, the brand is flax usa (cold milled golden flax seed)
I use it smoothies, french toast or pancakes, on top of cereal...anywhere really. It has a really good flavor and its a great source of fiber and Omega-3...and it's gluten free for anyone who has a sensitivity to gluten and/or wheat...which is myself.

Our Family

2010-08-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

I love this picture of her, she has such a great laugh.

The kids on the beach in Santa Cruz. We stopped on the way home from my mom's.

We drove through some town, I can't remember the name, but it was the artichoke capital of something...Anyway, there was this huge (fake) artichoke and we just had to get our picture taken in front of it (so that's what the green thing behind us is).

The kids on the shore at waterfront park in Silverdale, where my mom lives.

Gluten free zucchini bread

2010-08-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

1 1/2 cups rice flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg
3/4 cups sugar ( I used about a 1/2 c agave nectar instead)
1 medium shredded zucchini (I just used a cheese grater)
1/2 c canola oil (or applesauce)

Heat oven to 350. Mix dry ingredients together. Mix the rest in another bowl then stir into the flour mixture. Spoon the batter into 2 5" mini loaf pans (spray with pan spray first). Bake for 35 to 40 minutes.

It was incredibly easy to make and the kids loved it. An easy way to get veggies in.

Gluten Free Strawberry Shortcake

2010-05-11T21:36:00.001-07:00

It just so happens that I am sensitive to gluten so I have been trying to eat gluten free for the past couple of months. At times it can be quite difficult...I use Red Mill gluten free bread in my bread maker and I usually use it for french toast or toast with butter and honey or apple butter, not so much for sandwiches....I have recently discovered that it is quite delicious in strawberry shortcake. I used the gf bread instead of the angel food cake. I warmed it up in a bowl (15-20 seconds) covered with a little vanilla ice cream, whip cream and strawberries.

*instead of stawberries try fresh blackberries and white chololate chips. Yummy!

The Heart of Worship

2010-01-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

"Give yourselves to God...Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes." Romans 6:13

I must surrender and rely on God to work things out, I cannot do what my Heavenly Father has planned for my life while I am focused on my own plans.

Thank you Jesus

2010-01-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

So I was preparing myself for going out to pick up Luke, it is 1:00 and I have to get him at 2:00. The rain is still coming down and the wind is blowing like crazy so I'm thinking it's going to be another wet journey with the three of them...It is 1:40 and the rain stopped..the sun is peeking out from behind the clouds..Thank you Lord for the little break, just in time. I pick him up and it doesn't start raining again until we are all in the house, warm and dry. It is the simple little things that God does to take care of us that we may overlook from time to time, well today I noticed and I told him thank you. I noticed his love today. Thank you for loving us Jesus.

Hello Again

2010-01-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

I know that it has been a very great while since I have posted anything...I am going to stop feeling guilty because really who has the time with three kids to post very often, obviously I do not...so I am starting fresh with the new year. Making no promises of course.

It has been raining for three days now and I enjoy it. I love the rain, anything other than hot and sunny is a nice change. Don't get me wrong, I love sunshine but when it is also 115...not so much. Sunshine in the 70's is perfect. Rain can be a challenge when picking up Luke from school with the two other ones in tow...needless to say we all get a little wet. It's worth it though, kind of like a little adventure trudging through the cold rain, when we do eventually get home and dry it's like it wasn't that big of a deal at all. Avery started pre school at Murrieta Ranch, it is a nice break for me and she has fun once she's there and I'm gone..I'm sure the crying stops. The last couple of times she hasn't cried though, just has her hands in her mouth and is quiet as can be looking at me like "where are you going? Seriously I have to stay here? Okay". Luke still is enjoying school and he is doing really well. I help out one day a week in his classroom and he really likes that. It's fun for me too. He has a couple of close buds and has been over to play a couple times. He still goes to Awanas too and just finished his book last week. He was so excited...now he has to go through and review it. Seth is almost walking, he takes maybe 7 steps then feels more comfortable crawling. It is a lot faster. He says "uh oh", and we think he says "luke". I am subbing a couple days a week, which is a nice change from being at home all the time. Although with Avery in school it is nicer to stay at home sometimes, I can get so much more done. She is becoming more independent, if that is possible at all, and a little easier. Praise the Lord! Is my life going to get just a little easier:)

I am praying that this year brings our family closer in the Lord, and that I learn to give my worries and problems to Him. To follow the plan that He has for my life and put all my trust and faith in Him. I am so grateful for the people in my life who I can always turn to for support and love. I know that I don't always ask for help when I need it, but it is comforting to know that you are always there no matter what. I love you all very much! Thank you

Spring

2009-04-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

My little bunny at his scho0l easter party

A trip to the Wild Animal Park. I took all three kids and let me tell you...I don't think I'll be doing that again by myself any time soon!

A little of what's been going on...

2009-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

Luke running in the waves at So. Carlsbad beach, in his jeans.

We took the kids to legoland, they had so much fun looking at all the cool stuff in miniland.

Grammy came for a visit. The kids were very excited and loved having her here!

Seth at four months...almost five now (I'm only a month behind)

Avery turned two. I can't believe it. She is looking very sneaky holding that cupcake

Daddy and Avery at the campgrounds in So. Carlsbad for James' Bday. Luke had so much fun running in the waves, Avery wasn't very sure about them though.

Avery with her friends Ava and Kennedy. We met Karissa and the girls at the Wild Animal Park for a little visit. The girls had a blast.

Time Flies

2009-04-01T17:47:00.001-07:00

We definately have been busy...and it seems the more kids I have the less time I have for things like blogging:) That is not high on my list of to do's. I just downloaded pics from my camera on to the computer from Jan. So I am a little behind. And I am not even posing pics now, just a little note to say that things are at times chaotic but for the most part not to bad. I am enjoying time off from subbing so that's nice. And still I don't have enough time to post. Where does it go? Before I know it I'm getting kids ready for bed and then have barely enough energy to stay awake myself. So during my spring break I will hopefully post some pics. I will write it on my to do list to make sure:)

The Devil has got a hold.....

2009-02-07T14:29:00.001-08:00

I am having one of those days where it feels like I'm yelling everyword that comes out of my mouth. And I know that it's the Lord testing me...Last night I watched the movie Fireproof and it's based on this book called the Love Dare, well anyway it's a 40 day type book and the first day has to do with patience and well needless to say that I'm not doing very well in that category today. The book focuses on marriage but I'm having a heck of a time just being patient with my kids today...The devil definately doesn't want me to succeed, I can feel that! So I guess I'm asking for your prayers that the Lord will give me strength to continue this task and to follow his will for my life. I guess it's a good thing that Chad's still at work:) But a bad thing that I'm taking it all out on my kids:( Oh I need help, Lord please help!

I love you all and am so blessed you are in my life

...NuxieMade...: NUXIEMADE FEBRUARY HAT GIVE-AWAY!!#links#links

2009-02-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

...NuxieMade...: NUXIEMADE FEBRUARY HAT GIVE-AWAY!!#links#links

The happenings of the Hilzer Fam

2009-01-24T15:40:00.000-08:00

We went to the Wild Animal park for a family day. It was really nice to spend time together and just walk around to see the animals.

Avery and her daddy, just as happy as can be

She is such a little mommy, she has to do everything I do...it's so cute

This is how she helps me fold laundry

A little outside time

2009-01-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

Seth out and about...ahhh the life of an infant

Avery collecting her rocks

Luke on the "man made rocks" telling me not to take pictures of him...he was done with being outdoors.

Avery and Luke

Here we go out for a walk

I've started going on walks with the kids and the dog to get us all out of the house. Avery is an outside girl, she is so active and into everthing. She needs to get her energy out somehow. So we walk down to the little pond by our house. She collects rocks on the way and throws them in the water. Luke likes to play on the big rocks, he's not as out-doorsy as Avery, he doesn't mind being cooped up inside the house all day. Today he couldn't wait to get back home, he started walking back without us. Avery just drives me nuts sometimes getting into EVERYTHING! So I've been enjoying our little walks I don't have to constantly wonder what she is getting into:) It gets me out of the house too which I need, and Leyla is grateful too I'm sure.

Amy tagged me...

2009-01-14T13:25:00.000-08:00

Here are the rules:
1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder
3) Explain the picture
4) Tag 4 people to do the same

This picture was taken on Dec. 1, 2007. My mom was visitng and we took the kids to a park and Avery was very interested in the sand.

I don't have anyone to tag, so I guess it ends with me...sorry:)

Seth is Two Months Old

2009-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to put up a picture of this smiling boy! He is growing way to fast. He smiles when he sees us and talks back to us in his little baby coos. He is too much fun, the kids just love him...Chad and I are pretty fond of him too:)

Just so you know...

2009-01-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

Seth is getting huge, this pic was taken on new years

Merry first Christmas Seth. We are incredibly blessed!

Luke was an elf in his Christmas program at school (how cute is he)

I know it's been a while...so yes I did have the baby, he was born on Nov. 11, weighed 7lbs 15 oz and was 21 in. He is a hefty little man now, he has his 2 month check up on the 20th so we'll see what he weighs. I am now getting into the swing of things, pretty much adjusted to life with three, although most times we just stay home. It is a challenge sometimes getting all out the door and in the car. The holidays were fun this year, Luke was really excited about Santa, and Avery was excited about the Christmas lights...she loved seeing the houses all lit up. It was a very blessed holiday season having the three kids now to share it with. We went to Christmas eve service at church which was really cool, it just really brings you back to the true meaning of Christmas. And I got to see an old friend from high school, her sister goes to the church and she was visiting from Italy. On Christmas morning we opened presents with the kids, Luke couldn't wait to wake us up! Later that day we went over to Chad's parents for dinner...and more presents:) The kids had so much fun. Now it's 2009 and I am looking forward to what this year is going bring. And I'll try to keep up the posts...

My dr. appointment

2008-11-06T16:32:00.000-08:00

Today I went to see my midwife, I asked her to check to see if the baby was head down. On Monday when we did the 3d ultrasound baby's head was up under my ribs. The midwife did another ultrasound to make sure...and the baby is head down! Yeah!! Let's hope that baby stays that way...Everything else was good, heartbeat was 140. She also checked me and she said that I was at a 1 1/2, so we'll see. We are just continuing to wait. I have been feeling good, no regular contractions, although when I do have them they are getting more uncomfortable...I don't know if that means anything. Yesterday I did come down with a cold, so I just hope that the baby waits a little bit to come, it would not be fun to be in labor with a cold, not being able to breath and just feeling icky. So that's the news, my next appointment is on the 13th...I wonder if I'll make it:)

Here's a little update

2008-11-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

This picture of my belly is from Oct. 14, so a little while ago, although it hasn't grown that much since then...thank goodness:)

The kids at the pumpkin patch by our house.

We had the 3D ultrasound done yesterday, since I'm so far along the images aren't that great (they usually like to do them around 32 weeks) but they are still pretty cool to look at. The lady was looking for the head down by my pelivs and couldn't find anything...turns out that baby's head was up under my left ribs, so am hoping that this little thing turns the right way in the next couple of weeks.

Baby H with it's hand up by it's mouth

We think that baby H has Luke's nose

As of yesterday I have officially two weeks until my due date...Crazy! I am getting really excited to see this little one...although I am a little anxious about the labor and delivery. I pray that everything is fine.

The kids had a good time for halloween (I need to get pics off my camera) Luke was Indiana Jones and Avery was a little 50's girl with a poodle skirt. We went to church for Rocktoberfest. Tara, Ian and their two kids came too, so the kids ran around having a great ol' time. We couldn't tear them away from the jumpees so Tara and I took Avery and went around to get candy for them. They had this thing called 'trunk or treat' and people had decorated thier cars and they were handing out candy from their trunks...it was very cool. After church we went to Chad's sisters house so Luke could run around with Brody, he also had to switch his costume..so now he is a clone trooper from Star Wars. For his halloween party at school he dressed up as batman...what can I say, the kid loves to pretend!

Luke also has started t-ball. He went for his first time yesterday and it was so much fun to watch. About a dozen little kids running around not having a clue what's going on, I was laughing so much:) They are just being taught the basics...hitting, running the bases, playing in the field...stuff like that. At one point I caught him in the outfield spinning in circles until he fell down dizzy...I couldn't stop laughing. He was so excited though, he had a lot of fun. ( more pics I need to get off the camera).

So I think that pretty much sums it up, we are just waiting for the arrival of the next hilzer baby and I am trying to working a couple days a week still. I'm going to dr. appointments once a week and everything is good, I'm going to ask her next time about the baby not being head down yet. Other than that, nothing much else is going on with the Hilzer family. Will try and be better about keeping a more recent update about things...Take care and love you all!

Mr. Fish

2008-09-03T17:48:00.001-07:00

Luke has gotten to be a pretty good little swimmer this summer. I don't remember the last time he swam with his floaties. He can swim under water and come up for breathes now, which he was having trouble with at the beginning of summer. He likes to do cannon balls into the water, and backflips. Avery thinks she can swim...she has no fear. She likes to jump in too so we have to keep an extra close eye on her.

Seattle

2008-09-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

So from New York we were flying out of JFK, we had to take the subway from the upper east side, then get on the airport shuttle thing. Well we missed our flight to Seattle, and the next one wasn't until 8pm the next evening, so in a little of bit of a panic we ended up flying to Salt lake, getting a southwest flight to Portland and then Roger came to pick us up in his plane and flew us back to my moms. So it was an adventure to say the least...but we got there!
Chad and the kids driving the golf cart up and down the taxi way.
At the Point Defiance zoo in Tacoma. There is a cool aquarium there with sharks and everything.
Luke driving his little boat at Island lake.
We had to go to a Mariners game. This stadium is really nice, we went with my brothers and had a really good time.
Playing in the water at Island Lake.

After our trip back east, we came back to visit with my mom in Washington. Chad stayed 4 days and we had a really nice time. He had never been up there, we drove around so I could show him the area, we took the kids to Luke's favorite park (castle park), we took the ferry over to Seattle and went to a baseball game, we just had a nice time. After Chad left, the kids and I stayed another week. The weather was really nice, a big difference from being hot and humid.

Our trip back east

2008-09-03T17:10:00.001-07:00

Chad, his parents and myself (no kids) went back to Boston and New york for a little trip, it all started because this is the last year for Yankee stadium. We ended up going to Boston first, and we all had a blast, Chad loves it! We did the normal tourist stuff, our hotel was right downtown so that was awesome. We went to a Red Sox game (the Angels won!) it was so cool to be at Fenway, you can feel the history. We also met up with Heather a couple times. It was so nice to see her. We took the old town trolley tour, walked through Boston Common, did the swan boats (of course) and saw the 'make way for ducklings' statues, did fanuel hall and quincy market, ate REALLY GOOD food the whole time!!! Chad even likes seafood, he ate lobster ravioli and clam chowder. When the kids are older I definately want to take them back, it's just a really fun city to visit. Plus that's where my mom is from so it's a little sentimental for me, remembering things from visiting when I was little.
New York was our next stop. Chad was not impressed, we saw the world trade center site, the statue of liberty, Times square, went to a broadway play (Young Frankenstien), perfected the subway, went to soho (which was my favorite part), again we ate really good food (the pizza is so good). We went to the FDNY museum which was pretty cool. We also ate a restaurant called Mickey Mantles (Chad's dad is a mantle fan). But once you do all the tourist stuff really all there is to do is eat, shop, eat, and shop; so for people on a budget (like us) not the best place to be. Oh, the whole reason we went...We went to yankee stadium (the Angels won!) and we were not impressed at all, it's nothing like Fenway, just very generic, no real charm or character.

All in all our trip was fun, and we enjoyed ourselves...except for our flight back (to Seattle to visit my mom).

Pregnant friends

2008-09-03T17:02:00.001-07:00

It's funny how we are all pregnant at the same time. When Amy told me that she was pregnant she kept joking that I should be too so our little ones could be buddies. I kept saying yeah right, we're not even thinking about it right now....God had other plans I guess, so here we all are. Danielle is due first, sept. 13, Amy is due Oct. 4 and I'm due Nov. 17. I'm excited that we'll all have babies to grow up together, my kids will be close to all my best girlfriends' kids.

27 weeks

2008-09-03T17:00:00.001-07:00

This picture is a couple weeks old, so I'm behind a little bit.

Belly update

2008-08-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

I don't remember when this picture was taken or how far along I am, but it is the next one in the progression of my growing belly (I'm pretty sure)

4th of July

2008-08-24T14:56:00.001-07:00

We went to Chad's sisters house for a little block party. The kids ran around with water balloons and played in a little blow up pool. Avery loves the jumpy jump! It was nice to be outside to let the kids run wild. We had good food and when it got dark the kids ran around with sparklers, Luke thought they were pretty cool. It was an enjoyable, low key fourth of July.

Luke's 4th Birthday

2008-08-24T14:49:00.001-07:00

We had Luke's birthday at the Los Alamos sports park in Murrieta. It was a hot day, but luckily we got a place in the shade. It was a small party with just a couple of his friends but they kids had a good time playing and running around. It was short and sweet, the best kind! I can't believe that my baby is 4 years old. He is getting so big before my eyes.

Blayke's visit

2008-08-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Luke's big brother Blayke came down for a visit too towards the end of June, he was here for three weeks. He shared his time between us, his Nana and Papa, and his Grammy. Luke loves when he is here, he did his hair in this picture to be like his big brother. He loves him so much.
Luke loves playig video games with Blayke. He is such a little tag along, he wants to do everything that Blayke does. It is nice to have all the kids together, even though our house is small. It keeps us all cozy.

My dad's visit (June 22-June 28)

2008-08-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

My dad came down from Washington to visit for about a week. It was good to spend some time with him, and the kids love to see him too. He moved to Costa Rica in the beginning of July, so it was the last time we would get to see him for a while. His next trip home is planned for December of 2009.

My last birthday...

2008-08-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

On June 12, Val, Jen, and Myself started the celebrating at Glen Ivy for a little girl time. We had a blast just sitting around and relaxing. The day ended too soon...We'll just have to go back.
On June 14 we continued the celebration at Arashi Teppan grill with good friends.
My last birthday was a good one!

Wild Animal Park

2008-06-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

Petting the deers...she thought it was pretty cool
Hot stuff on the rhino
Luke had to get a picture with spongebob
Mr. cool
Playing in the water area

I took the kids to the animal park the same day as my dr appt. making it a more worthwhile trip. We started by walking the trail that's up by condor ridge. It's neat because it takes you down past the elephants and tigers, the tiger was out and walking around which was cool. We also walked down where we could see the giraffes. It was a nice walk, I felt like we were on a nature hike. Luke was complaining because I only had the umbrella stroller so he had to walk the whole time, he was a trooper though. We ended up down by the lions so he could play in the water, which the only thing that he wanted to do. And then of course we got a treat. It wasn't too hot that day so I enjoyed walking around in the sun. We had a really nice time.

Last week of Awanas

2008-06-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

It was Luke's last night of Awanas last week...how sad:( He went with his friends Ethan and Johnny. While the boys were in their meeting, us moms would go hang out and have a "moms night out". I'm going to miss that! On their last meeting the leaders gave out awards and patches for them to put on thier vests. The kids also were able to go to the awana store and spend thier awana bucks. Luke had around $90 saved up from wearing his vest, bringing his book, and saying his memory verses.

Luke's haircut

2008-06-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

Long hair
Dad giving him a buzz
He looks like a different kid!

I liked how long his hair was getting, but when he would play it would get all sweaty and nasty so he said that he wanted hair like his dad's. I got talked into letting Chad buzz it off. I was sad at first because he looks so much more grown up now, but I'm getting used to it and he does look awful cute with a buzz...and it's so much easier!

Grammy's visit

2008-06-08T16:58:00.000-07:00

Avery sitting pretty.
Avery and her Grammy.
Luke and his cousin Brody at the hoedown.
Reading books with Grammy, their favorite thing to do.
All dressed up and ready for the pool! She loves the water.

My mom came down for a short little visit a couple of weeks ago. It was so nice to see her, the kids had so much fun with her too. It was the weekend of the 100+ degree heat so we spent some time at our pool, the kids love the water. We also went to a hoedown at Murrieta Ranch preschool, where Luke's cousin Brody goes. Luke will be starting there in Aug. so we wanted to have him see what it was like and run around with the other kids. He is really excited about going there, and always asks when is he going to his "new" school. The boys ran around and had a blast, we stayed in the shade and tried to keep cool. My mom was only here for a long weekend so we didn't do too much, but it was nice to just hang out and spend time with her. I don't get to see her has much as I'd like so I'll take whenever I can get. This summer the kids will be going up to stay with her for a week while Chad and I are in NY and Boston, then after I'm going to fly to Washington to stay awhile longer. So I have that to look forward to.

In the middle...

2008-06-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I have posted, Amy told me that I'm lagging, so here I am. I had my second dr. appt on May 30 and I got to hear the baby's hearbeat. No matter how many times I have heard it before it is still such an awesome thing. The baby's heartbeat was 140 which is good and healthy. As of right now I am almost 17 weeks and the picture above was a couple of weeks ago, maybe 14 weeks, but there's still not really a belly. It's more comfortable to wear stretchy clothes and I have started to do the rubber band thing on my pants, but you couldn't tell by looking that I'm pregnant. I'm still in the stage where I just feel chubby and not pregnant.

The Kiddos

2008-05-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Playing with his new Indiana Jones legos.
Reading just like her big brother.
Cutie pie!
Say Cheese!
How cute is this boy?! He calls this his crazy shirt.

Big girl!

2008-05-09T20:59:00.001-07:00

I had to take a picture of her, look how big she is already feeding herself! She's growing up too fast.

My day at middle school

2008-05-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today I worked at a middle school, I turned down a middle school job earlier this week because I was scared, and I really needed a job so I took it. On my way I asked God for strength and patience and the wisdom to teach these kids. I know that middle schoolers are challengin, it's a tough age and I purposely went in with an open mind and a positive attitude. I'm walking down the halls with kids that are my height or taller so I'm a little nervous, but the day started off okay. Getting a little bit worse in the middle and by the last two periods I was so ready to go home. Now don't get me wrong, it's not every single student that's a problem, it's usually just a handful that ruin it for the whole class. There were a half a dozen kids that were perfectly fine, listened and did what they were supposed to. It's the kids that don't listen, backtalk, have attitudes and are disrespectful that make it a bad day. I dealt with the kids, it was one day and I got through it. The thing that got me as I'm walking to my car, tears coming down my face, is that someday Luke will be this age and to think of him acting like these kids just overwhelmed me. What a horrible feeling as a parent to think that someday that could be my kid. Thinking that this innocent, sweet little boy could turn into someone who has no respect and is cocky and rude. I sat in my car praying to God to give me the strength and guidance to raise my son to not turn out to be like that. I can worry all I want about how he'll turn out, what I need to do is have faith that God will direct my path and well as Luke's to follow his will. I felt better after that. It was just a really hard day for me today, praise the Lord for his strength and comfort.

Our happenings of the day

2008-05-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today we went to the library and Luke wasn't really into story time so we just sat around and looked at books. We found a book that Grammy reads to him when we are visiting and it's his favorite. We had to bring it home. Here he is reading Blueberries for Sal, it is so cute listening to him tell the story. He even remembers the words!

Avery was finishing her lunch and she just looked too cute. She wasn't smiling at first, but then her smile kept getting bigger when the flash would go off.

What I am Grateful for today...

2008-05-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

1. Luke telling me I'm his sunshine, then giving me kisses on my face.
2. Going to the library-I always forget about this place, borrowing books and movies is awesome!!! I am starting to read the Narnia books, and I rented Elizabeth (it was pretty good).
3. Getting my paycheck, I was finally able to get gas...my gas light was on:(
4. Avery rubbing her big buddah belly and laughing.
5. Luke pretending to be a superhero, sound effects and all...lately it's been ironman, dad just took him to see the movie.

Chad's 34th bday

2008-04-27T14:39:00.001-07:00

We went to La Cocina for dinner, the food is so good! I'm so excited about the shrimp tacos, I'm craving them again today. We celebrated with family and friends, my dad was in town so it was nice to spend time with him. After dinner we headed over to Killarneys for some drinks, I had water...lots of water. Paul and Shirley took Luke and Avery home so I could join the party. Chad enjoyed himself a little too much, you're only 34 once:) I called it a night before everyone else, because there is only so much fun you can have while drinking water. There is an advantage though, I probably am the only one who doesn'thave a hangover today:) I think that Chad had a pretty good birthday, thanks everyone for coming!

The beginning

2008-04-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

Here is the first picture of my belly. I am 10 weeks so you can't tell yet that I'm pregnant. I just feel bloated, how fun:)

First Doctor Appointment

2008-04-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

Today was my first prenatal appointment. My appt. was with a midwife, Dr. Cox, and I am really happy with her. I decided to go to San Marcos for my prenatals so that I can deliver at either Zion or Palomar. After what happened with Avery I am not going back to Riverside whatever I do. I was starting to get anxious that everything is healthy and okay with this pregnancy, and it is. So, according to my ultrasound I am 10 weeks, which is what I calculated, and my due date is November 17. All in all I had a really positive experience today and am excited for this new adventure. Since I'm delivering in a hospital, I'm thinking about having a doula this time, having that extra support would be so comforting. I would have another homebirth if money weren't an issue, and would love to try a water birth. My mom has been contacting a doula she knows, and I have a midwife to talk with to decide what my options are. I will just pray to see what path God has planned for me to follow. Everything is in His hands. I just don't want to be separated from my baby for three days, while all the other moms have thiers with them. That was the hardest part with Avery. My next appointment is scheduled for May 30 and my next ultrasound is July 7. Don't worry, I won't wait that long to update you all.

I figured since we are already down in San Marcos, why not make the most of the drive and hit the Wild Animal Park too. I told Luke that after the Dr. we will go to the animal park, he has been looking forward to it all week long. All morning he kept saying, "I'm so excited to go the animal park!" We met Karissa and her kids there and they played in the water area down by the lions. Luke said that he wanted to see lions, elephants, gorillas, tigers, and zebras. After they played in the water for a while we hit the lions and got to see them way up close, they were all lounging in the shade against the glass. Avery just kept pointing and grunting. Boy am I glad that they have that new elevator to bring you back up, those hills are killer and I wasn't looking forward to pushing two kids and myself up it. So then we went to the gorillas and saw gibbons monkeys on the way, which were cool because they kept swinging back and forth. Luke got a kick out of that. On the way down to the lions we saw elephants from the top of the hill, and that seemed to satisfy him. The only two we didn't get to were the tiger and zebra, so those are for next time. We caught the meerkats and some yellow weaver birds that make cool nests on the way out. Luke played inside the big birds nest. Of course we had to get an ice cream and I bought him a little orange toy tiger. We were there for only 2 1/2 hours, and that is plenty of time for me. That's one of the advantages of having a pass, you can go and not feel like you have to stay for the whole day and see everything. When I have my prenatal appointments, we will try and get to the animal park, it is his favorite place.

First Picture of Baby Hilzer #3

2008-04-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

Here is the first picture of our little baby. It's so crazy because it's not just a peanut, you can see the head, body, arms, and legs. It is such a miracle, no matter how many times I have seen it before, I am so grateful!

Here comes #3

2008-04-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

We are expecting our third blessing! I found out I was pregnant a couple days before Avery's first birthday. Surprise! I was in total shock, as was everybody else. Now that the news has been able to sink in for a while, I am getting more excited. We plan on this one being the last addition to our family. I haven't been feeling well at all this first trimester, by my calculations I am 9 weeks, so hopefully it'll get better into my second. My first Dr. appointment is on April 25 so hopefully I will get an ultrasound to confirm how far along I am and when the baby is due, maybe I'll get some pics too. I will let you all know. Luke is excited, he wants a little brother. Avery has no clue of course but I think that she will love being a big sister. She is always carrying around her baby dolls and she loves "real" babies too. In my week by week pregnancy book it says that my due date is around 11/18, so Avery will be 20 months. She is already more 'grown up' than Luke was at this age, so I'm hoping that it won't be too hard:) Famous last words! We won't be finding out this time what we are having, we want to be surprised. We have already came up with names though, Chloe Jade for a girl and Seth James for a boy.